In the hustle and bustle of modern life, stress became a constant companion on my journey. The demands of work, relationships, and personal responsibilities often left me feeling overwhelmed and mentally drained. It took time, but I discovered effective strategies to navigate the chaos and transform those moments of overwhelm into a more organized and manageable state of mind. Let me share some practical tips based on my personal experience.

1. Prioritize and Delegate:

One lesson I've learned is the power of prioritizing tasks. Breaking down larger tasks into smaller, more manageable steps and recognizing when to delegate responsibilities has been a game-changer.

2. Time Blocking:

I started allocating specific blocks of time for different activities. This not only helped me manage my time efficiently but also created a structured routine, reducing the chaos of trying to juggle too many things at once.

3. Learn to Say No:

Understanding my limits and being okay with saying no was crucial. Politely declining additional tasks when my plate was full prevented me from spreading myself too thin.

4. Establish Boundaries:

Creating clear boundaries between work and personal life was essential. Designating specific spaces and times for work-related activities helped me maintain a healthier balance.

5. Practice Mindfulness:

Incorporating mindfulness techniques into my daily routine became a lifeline. Whether through deep breathing exercises, meditation, or mindful walks, these practices kept me present and calm amidst the chaos.

6. Breaks and Self-Care:

Taking regular breaks to recharge became a non-negotiable. Engaging in activities I enjoyed, like short walks or spending time with loved ones, played a crucial role in maintaining my mental and physical well-being.

7. Organize Your Space:

Decluttering and organizing my living and working spaces created a more peaceful atmosphere. A tidy environment translated to a more focused and clear mindset.

8. Reflect and Learn:

Periodic self-reflection became a cornerstone of my stress management journey. Identifying patterns of stress triggers and proactively addressing them contributed to personal growth and resilience.

9. Seek Support:

One of the most significant lessons I learned was not to hesitate in seeking support. Whether from friends, family, or professionals, sharing my concerns provided valuable perspectives and emotional support.

10. Embrace a Positive Mindset:

Shifting my focus towards the positive aspects of situations became a daily practice. Cultivating gratitude and celebrating small achievements had a profound impact on how I perceived and managed stress.

Remember, stress management is a continuous journey. By incorporating these tips into your daily life, you can gradually transform overwhelming moments into opportunities for growth and resilience. Be patient with yourself, take small steps, and embrace the ongoing process toward a more organized and stress-free life.

In our pursuit of productivity, sleep often takes a backseat in our daily priorities. Yet, the significance of a good night's sleep extends far beyond the realm of mere rest. Let's dive into the science of sleep and explore how the quality and quantity of our sleep can impact our mood and mental well-being.

The Basics of Sleep Science:

Before we explore the connection between sleep and mood, it's essential to understand the basic mechanics of sleep.

Sleep occurs in cycles, including both rapid eye movement (REM) and non-REM stages. Each stage plays a crucial role in physical restoration, memory consolidation, and overall cognitive function.

Non-REM Stages: The Restorative Phases

As you embark on the journey into sleep, Stage 1, or Transition to Sleep (N1), represents a brief, light sleep phase lasting several minutes, marking the transition from wakefulness to sleep with reduced muscle activity and slow eye movements. Moving into Stage 2, True Sleep (N2), you enter a deeper sleep characterized by a decrease in heart rate and body temperature, with the absence of eye movements and bursts of rapid brainwave activity. Stage 3, Deep Sleep (N3) or Slow-Wave Sleep (SWS), is the most profound sleep stage, vital for physical restoration and growth, dominated by delta brainwaves and challenging to awaken from.

REM Stage: Dreaming and Cognitive Restoration

During Rapid Eye Movement (REM), the dreaming phase of sleep, brain activity resembles wakefulness, marked by rapid eye movements, increased heart rate, and irregular breathing. This stage is crucial for cognitive processes such as memory consolidation and emotional regulation.

The Sleep Cycle Dynamics

The complete sleep cycle, encompassing all stages, typically lasts around 90-110 minutes, and individuals go through multiple cycles during a full night's rest. The cyclical progression involves moving through Non-REM stages (N1, N2, N3) before entering REM sleep, and this cycle repeats several times throughout the night. The dynamics of sleep cycles are influenced by both homeostatic pressure (the need for sleep) and circadian rhythm, where sleep architecture responds to the balance between waking and sleep-inducing factors.

Understanding these intricacies provides insight into the physiological processes that contribute to restorative sleep and overall well-being. Ongoing sleep research continually refines our understanding of these stages and their significance for cognitive function, emotional health, and physical restoration. 💤

Sleep Deprivation and Mood:

The consequences of insufficient sleep on mood are well-documented. Sleep deprivation can lead to irritability, heightened stress levels, and a generally negative outlook. The emotional centers of the brain become more reactive, while the prefrontal cortex, responsible for rational decision-making, weakens.

Tips for Improving Sleep Quality:

1. Establish a Consistent Sleep Schedule: Going to bed and waking up at the same time every day helps regulate your body's internal clock, promoting better sleep quality.
2. Create a Relaxing Bedtime Routine: Engage in calming activities before bedtime, such as reading or practicing relaxation techniques, to signal to your body that it's time to wind down.
3. Optimize Your Sleep Environment: Ensure your bedroom is conducive to sleep by keeping it cool, dark, and quiet. Invest in a comfortable mattress and pillows.
4. Limit Screen Time Before Bed: The blue light emitted by screens can interfere with melatonin production, making it harder to fall asleep. Aim to reduce screen time at least an hour before bedtime.
5. Watch Your Diet: Avoid heavy meals, caffeine, and alcohol close to bedtime. These can disrupt sleep patterns and affect the quality of your rest.

Prioritising Sleep for Better Mental Health:

Recognising the profound impact of sleep on mood underscores the importance of prioritising adequate and quality rest in our lives. In a world that often glorifies busy schedules, it's crucial to view sleep not as a luxury but as a fundamental pillar of mental well-being.

It's time to give sleep the attention it deserves, recognizing its role as a powerful ally in our journey toward a balanced and fulfilled life. Sweet dreams and a brighter mood await those who prioritise the restorative power of a good night's sleep.

Imagine for a moment that you repeatedly snooze the alarm but still wake up feeling lethargic and sluggish. You manage to arrive at work on time, only to discover that you have left a crucial presentation unfinished. Your day and how you get through it are highly impacted by the range of emotions you experience. When it’s all said and done, you realise that you’ve made a number of poor decisions during the day in an attempt to cope with those emotions. You may be left wondering how you might improve the situation. This is where mental health enters the picture.

What is Mental health?

Recently, a new wave of mental awareness has risen. We hear about mental health in our family dinners, water cooler talks, discussions with friends and social media. Though increasing awareness of mental health is a positive change, but there is a possibility of the definition getting misinterpreted. According to the World Health Organization (WHO), mental health is “a state of well-being in which the individual realises his or her own abilities, can cope with the normal stresses of life, can work productively and fruitfully, and is able to make a contribution to his or her community” Though this definition is a great leap from the previous definition of “lack of mental issues”, it is time that it gets updated. The issue with the current definition is that just positive emotions and positive feelings are accepted as state of “well-being”.

Why is Mental Health Important?

No matter what you do or how old you are, negative mental health can have a deteriorating effect on your own life, your health, your work and your relationships. But on the other hand, mentally healthy individuals can better cope with whatever life throws at them, enjoy better physical health, have cordial relations with their close ones and are productive members of society.

What can you do?

After knowing about mental health and its incredible benefits, it’s natural to ask what a person can do to improve their mental health. Below are some simple steps you can do daily to achieve that goal.

1. Get some sunshine

The first thing you can do to help your mental health is to get some sunshine for 10-15 minutes. Reaching out for the phone first thing after waking up in the morning can be detrimental in many ways. On days when sunshine is unavailable, at least spend the first 10-15 minutes without looking at any screen.

2. Get moving

After getting your daily dose of sunshine, you need to get your body in movement. That means doing some form of exercise. It can be a simple jog or a full-body workout. Studies indicate that even 15 minutes of light body movements can increase dopamine levels.

3. Meditate

Just like exercises improve physical health, meditation directly enhances mental health. Meditation can be practised at any time of the day. Though if practised in the morning, it can set the right tone and mood for the day.

4. Eat right

Our mind and body are more closely related than we realise, and each of them influences the other. Thus, it becomes imperative to fuel the body with foods rich in nutrition. Care should be taken to avoid foods that are high in sugar, unhealthy oils, fats and overeating.

5. Pen down your thoughts

It is a simple way that helps you work through anxious feelings and improves mental health. When you pen down your concerns, it allows you to examine them in a way which was not possible when thinking about them; here, the app Chiku can be of great help.

6. Meet and talk to your loved ones

Even though technology has greatly reduced the need to interact with other humans, one should still seek out friends, relatives and similar-minded individuals. Humans are social animals, and shutting out other people can trigger loneliness. If you are new to a place, take up a hobby where you can meet new people.

7. Social media detox

Constant consumption of social media content makes an individual perceive themselves to be at the bottom of the social hierarchy, thereby reducing their self-worth and self-esteem. This makes them more susceptible and vulnerable to issues like anxiety and depression.

8. Sleep Early

The old saying “Early to bed and early to rise makes a person healthy, wealthy and wise” happens to be true. A restful and peaceful sleep proves to be the necessary rest that the body and mind need after tackling the ups and downs a person faces through the day. Avoiding heavy dinners late at night and coffee after 5 pm can aid in sleeping early.

9. Take it easy

There will be days when you are unable to eat right, or you oversleep or can’t exercise or indulge in social media more than usual. On days like these, be easy on yourself and understand it is natural. All the above things need to be done from the perspective of self-love and not punishment. So, an occasional indulgence should be overlooked, and a course correction needs to be done from a place of forgiveness.

10. Know it’s going to be alright eventually

A general attitude of optimism is necessary, especially on days, weeks and months when things don’t seem to be going your way.

An individual can adopt the above steps to raise their standard of living and, more importantly, quality of life. Many factors can affect our mental health, many being beyond our bounds. The above steps should not be seen as a panacea for mental health but as simple habits that can be inculcated to greatly elevate mental health. Try including just a few points and work on them before moving on to other steps. If mental health still seems to be deteriorating, it is advisable to seek a mental health professional. Take care.

What happens after a breakup? It's a different phase for everyone, but the common emotions experienced by all are relief, grief, pain, anger, confusion and frustration, which are perfectly normal reactions to the end of a relationship with someone who was very close to your heart. We all have been there and we all know how it feels. We've all had our heart broken at some point in our lives. You'd agree with me when I say, It is difficult to get over a few people in life.

Breakups and the emotions they bring along have a complicated pattern to them. Even if things end in a certain way, according to you or the breakup was healthy and mutual, you'll probably still be left with some uncomfortable thoughts and feelings. When it happens to you personally it's devastating and when people can relate, they aren't feeling the same pain as you. Sometimes it feels like you're completely helpless and there is no way out. Like it's a never ending labyrinth of grief and that you'll never get past the suffering.

The important thing to remember here is that there is always light at the end of the tunnel and there are ways that lead you to it. You have to understand and tell yourself that getting over a breakup is achievable and it's just about the matter of time. Here are a few 'practical' ways that will guide you in this journey to regain you happiness and peace of mind.

Let your emotions out -

The catchword here is to feel, accept and act. Sob, cry your eyes out, feel the grief, yell and scream. As long as it doesn't bother anybody else in a way that hurts them or you, find a way to let go of the pain you are feeling. It's been told all along that breakups are hard, because they are. Don't rush this process and take it away from yourself or it will just fester inside you as you're not mourning a person's life, you're mourning that integral part of your life that is not there anymore. Let yourself feel those uncomfortable feelings as you don't want to supress them. Take a deep breath and allow yourself the appropriate amount of time to heal. Grieving is the initial step of the process.

The different stages of grieving a breakup would be -

1. Desperation for answers - This is the part when you fixate on things that your ex said. The desperation to make sense of something so displeasing will make you swing back and forth between hazy disbelief, moment by moment settling on the magnitude of loss and the flashes of the painful reality of something so beautiful being over.

2. Denial - This isn't happening! This can't be true. You just cannot live without your ex. Something that was your world, you cannot accept it to be over. During the part of denial, you derail from the grieving process and replace it with your unrealistic expectations to salvaging the relationship. You start living in your happy bubble.

3. Bargaining - You are willing to settle for anything to avoid the pain of accepting that the relationship is over. The thought of separation is so excruciating that you're willing to anything to get him back, at any cost. Ofcourse, you're not being logical here and this wouldn't sustain in the long run.

4. Relapse - The agony of withdrawal was so intolerable that you may actually convince your ex to try again. However, despite your hearty efforts, it's impossible to carry on a relationship solo, all on your own. This eventually leads to a breakup and leaves you strangled at the first step of the process after you're absolutely convinced that it's finally time now to let go.

5. Anger - Initially you were not able to connect to this feeling but after the loop of reconciliation and rejection, it's a major emotion acting on. Anger accompanied with fear and dread is what you'll be feeling at this point. It makes you vulnerable initially but would empower you too as you will realise that you deserve better than what you had.

6. Initial acceptance - This initial acceptance has taken place as you weren't left with a choice. This with the passage of time will grow substantive as you will begin to realise, all on your own, that it's not good to be so hard on yourself.

7. Regeneration of hope - As the acceptance deepens and becomes substantial, moving forward would require regenerating and directing your hope from the belief that things can get back to normal, to single-handedly trying to salvage the relationship, from being completely shattered to accessing the reserves of hope that you have.

Follow the no contact policy -

Cut off contact with your ex completely, at least for a while. Whether you dumped or got dumped, it's not healthy to keep tabs on your ex once the relationship is over. You may want to be mature and remain on friendly terms with your ex, but you won't give yourself enough time to heal from the breakup. Tell your ex that you will require space.. Trimming them from your social media handles by unfollowing or just muting their activities helps too in preventing potential instances of jealousy or nostalgia. Get rid of anything that reminds you of your ex and is acting like a hindrance to regaining your happiness.

Pamper yourself -

Indulge yourself in food that you like and movies or books since your ex won't be there to treat you anymore. Take a vacation or just a weekend getaway to relax somewhere with your friends or just wander around solo. A spa day would help to rid yourself of the daily stresses that have been piling up since forever.

Take up a new hobby -

Being newly single doesn't have to be negative always. When you're in a relationship, you have less time for yourself as a greater portion of it goes in making the relationship right and the other person happy. On the other hand, when you're single, you can get to know you're more intensely and are free to discover various interests and dedicate your time to whatever you want. Perhaps, this could be the time for you to look at yourself from a completely different angle.

Vent to your loved ones -

It is vitally important to have a decent support system to help you sail through a breakup. When you're feeling angry or hurt, your friends or a family member can justify those feelings and remind you that you're not alone. They might even share some of their own experiences or bits. Research shows that merely verbalizing your feelings can make negative emotions less intense.

Be real with yourself -

Use your time alone to introspect and reflect on your relationship before the breakup. Though you may have positive memories of your partner in the time you spent together, it is important to remember that there were problems that inevitably drove you two apart. While you might want to fix things, accept that the two of you might simply be incompatible and that breaking up was the best course of action in the long run.

It's okay to still have feelings for your ex -

The worst part of a breakup is the discomfort from hurting over your ex's actions yet hurting that they are gone and no more a part of your life. But breaking up doesn't mean that the love between you is dead or that you've overcome those mushy feelings completely. Be it the highs or the lows, the two of you were together and made memories and played significant roles in each other's lives. You have to understand that love sometimes means wanting the best for each other which could also mean parting ways.

Don't be too hard on yourself -

The process of overcoming your breakup is subjective for all. It could take anywhere from a few weeks to even months altogether.  Let your emotions run wild and form their own course without putting undue pressure on yourself. After a while the feelings will fade and give way to more opportunities and new relations.

All this time you have been letting your mind ponder upon the 'what-ifs' that came your way. You have come a long way, resolve to stay strong. Acknowledging your role in what went wrong in your past relationship, it is a very important part of the learning process. Relationships with a significant other is to see yourself more clearly. It makes you realise who you are as a person and provides a list of things that you might need to work on. Know that a relationship isn't a failure if it has ended as it helped you grow as a person, leaning and move your life forward with a whole new perspective.

Stress. Anxiety. Depression.

We have been hearing about this trio far too often ever since the pandemic began.

COVID-19 has impacted more than the economy, livelihood and lifestyle of people. It has exposed people to an unseen but real threat.

The very fact that we may be at risk of contracting a potentially deadly virus is increasing anxiety, stress and depression in the population irrespective of age, gender and location.

This has confined us to our homes against our wills. Earlier, we could choose whether we wanted to go on weekend trips, hit the clubs, eat out with friends or stay home in our pyjamas. However, COVID-19 has left us without that choice. We have to stay inside as much as possible, mostly against our will, to keep ourselves, our loved ones and others in our community safe.

How has COVID19 taken a toll on our emotional health?

As humans, we love to think that we have control. We believe, we have the right to choose what we want to do with our day.

After the nation-wide lockdown, we are still struggling to adjust to the new normal. Some are out of jobs. Others are away from their families, unable to catch a flight to several metro cities. Some are struggling for a breath of fresh air confined to their homes.

In short, we are gradually realizing that no matter how strongly we would like to believe it, we DON’T have any control. COVID-19 has created a crisis that goes beyond finances and socialization. The pandemic has stirred the deep seated predisposition towards depression, anxiety and stress disorders in millions across the globe.

In these tough times you need to remember that YOU ARE NOT ALONE.

Are you suffering from emotional stress?

While everyone reacts differently to stress, the isolation has taken a significant toll on the emotional and mental health of people from all age groups and socioeconomic class across our nation.

Here’s how it may have affected your mental health –

• You are worried about our own health, the health and wellbeing of your loved ones, and grief over the loss of people you have known.
• You are losing sleep due to stress and anxiety, which isn’t helping you if you already suffer from anxiety disorders, PTSD and/or depression.
• Many were unable to reach out to their counsellors and psychiatrists during the initial weeks of the sudden lockdown. That further worsened the mental health situation, especially among the millennial population.
• Many have turned to alcohol, excessive smoking, and recreational drug use to get over the monotony of self-isolation.
• The threat of losing your job or the actual loss of your job have made fighting mental health disorders much more difficult than it was even a year back due to a sudden change of your economic status and priorities.

What can you for the upkeep of your mental health during the pandemic and isolation period?

Find the right names for your emotions

To manage an emotion, you need to acknowledge it. Naming the emotion can do just that for you. You can feel angry, frustrated, scared, alone, sad, despaired, melancholy and a mix of endless emotions.

So take a second and reflect on how you are feeling. It’s alright to tell yourself, “I’m scared” or “I feel lonely.” Sometimes putting how you feel in words is all you need to gain an understanding of your emotions.

Acknowledging your emotions is the only way to rendezvous with it and stop a full-blown downward spiral right on its tracks.

Find the things you can control

Losing control is a dreadful feeling. You may be afraid and even helpless right now if you are only looking at the things you cannot control in life.

It’s time to shift focus. Find the things you can control.

Use a private journal or a journaling app like Chiku to make a list of activities that you can control and make you feel good. These can include –

1. Spending time with your family.
2. Spending time with your pets or taking care of neighbourhood animals.
3. Fixing yourself a healthy, homemade meal every afternoon and evening.
4. Keeping time aside for 15 to 20 minutes of exercise per day.
5. Having a cheat day where you can order ice cream or make homemade brownies.
6. De-cluttering your home the Marie Kondo style.
7. Beginning your meditation and mindfulness routine from today!

Make exhaustive lists of problems and potential solutions

When you find the right journaling app, listing the problems that have been bothering you throughout the day becomes much easier.

• Jot your problems down, so they stop swirling around in your head. Simply seeing them on paper or an app will make your head feel lighter and it will give you the space you need to think about the solutions.
• Begin listing the solutions. Now, you might need some time to see the potential solutions after you jot your problems down, and that’s okay!
• Once you have the problems and their potential solutions in front of you, assess the list. Take your time to think about the outcomes of each solution and which ones you like.
• Don’t search for the “perfect solution.” Look for the one that is optimum for your situation.

Always remember that right and wrong can be relative depending on each person’s situation.

When you are emotionally distressed, your first goal should be to identify the solutions that help in the improvement of your emotional and mental health.

Don’t resist change

It’s easier said than done. “The only thing constant is change” – is something we have heard a million times.

However, we still struggle to adapt to even the smallest changes in life. Remember, how frustrated we used to become when our favourite TV show changed broadcasting times? Or, when our favourite candies suddenly went out of the market?

As human beings, we need consistency to feel secure. The pandemic has brought forth umpteen changes, which have shaken our sense of control and security to the core.

We have been resisting change for a long time, that’s after all, in our nature. It’s time to stop resisting and finding ways to work with it.

Maybe these tips will help you work with the changing sceneries all around us –

• Write down what you feel about the change
• Find out what’s actually changing and write about that too
• Compare the two notes to see if you are perceiving the change in a way that’s much worse than reality
• Create new routines that may accommodate the change and help you adjust to the new normal

Keep an open mind. It’s easier to judge than welcoming new ideas. Experiment and try new ideas to see what suits the new situations best and fulfils your emotional needs.

Ask for help

These are tough times and even your friends and family know that. However, you cannot expect everyone to just understand your emotional turmoil.

The pandemic has affected almost everyone emotionally and mentally to some degree. Some people are better at managing it on their own and some need an extra hand.

If you think you could do with a little help from a friend, why wait? A number of leading psychologists, counsellors and psychiatrists in your city are volunteering to help you and others just like you who may need a little help with their emotional and mental health. They are available on phone, Zoom or Google Duo.

There are special COVID-19 helplines for emotional support open all across the country for people just like you and me. For Indian users, try calling the COVID19 emotional support helpline @7707070002 or sending them a message on covid19helplineindia@gmail.com.

Social distancing and isolation are taking a toll on our mental and emotional health slowly but steadily. We hope that this post helps you find more than one way to take care of emotional and mental health.

Remember, it’s never too late to ask for help. Whether you need counselling services or emotional support, all you have to do is ask!

"It's as if you like being sad", "can't you think of anything other than the morbid stuff", "how can such a beautiful sunny day make you sad", "depression is for the weak-minded" (whatever that means), "is it your time of the month?", "just snap out of it" – I could go on and on about the "advice" I have received from people who deem themselves, experts of the human psyche because that one person dumped them in sixth grade.

Ironically, I was too depressed at the time to react to these infuriating remarks.

Depression Isn’t Just Feeling Sad

Let's get one confusion sorted. Despite what some people may tell you, depression ISN'T sadness. It's a disease that is more common than people will have you would believe.

It can happen to anyone. An eight-year-old child from a seemingly happy and normal family. A teenager who feels out of place. A successful twenty-something-year-old. A renowned business executive, actor, singer, homemaker, entrepreneur, mother, or father.

It is a mood disorder that takes away one's ability to feel happy, excited, and positive. You may even describe it as a feeling of sadness, desolation, loneliness, and lethargy.

If you are here because you have been feeling depressed, know that it's not your fault.

While this mental health disorder can affect your appetite, interest in everyday activities, and social life, external events need not trigger a depressive episode.

If a person is prone to depressive episodes, they may react differently to trauma or sad incidents. However, an emotional shock may not always be necessary to trigger a depressive episode.

Depression Is a Silent Assassin

For years, I have struggled with the many faces of depression – inexplicable dysphoria, sudden lethargy, the inability to concentrate on conversations, forgetting every day and simple tasks, unprovoked outbursts, and more. Getting out of bed was difficult because life had suddenly lost its meaning, and I came to believe that no one really cared.

Yes. It has cost friendships and relationships. It cost hobbies, passions, and career opportunities.

Only when I got the help I needed my perspective began to shift. I realized that some people do care, and they have been there all along.

If you are going through something similar, know that this is not the end of the road. There’s hope.

However, first, you need to do something for yourself. Shut out the voices that spew the unwanted advice. Unless the information or guidance is coming from your therapist, psychological counselor, or psychiatrist, you don't have to listen.

What Do You Say When You Are Depressed?

Next, let's find the answer of what to say to someone when you are depressed.

If you have visited a psychiatrist or psychologist, you may have a clinical diagnosis of depression (any one or a combination of the following) –

1. Premenstrual dysphoric disorder
2. Major depressive disorder
3. Persistent depression
4. Bipolar personality disorder (BPD)
5. Depressive psychosis
6. Perinatal or postpartum depression
7. Seasonal (affective) depression
8. Situational depression
9. Atypical depression

When your close friend or family member asks you, "what's wrong," you can boldly state your diagnosis. There's no shame in being depressed like there's no shame in being diabetic!

Depression Is NOT Your Fault

The feelings of guilt, hopelessness, and worthlessness that accompany depression often make it difficult for the person to talk about their mental and emotional state to even their BFF.

However, if you are depressed, and especially if you are on medication, you should think about mentioning it to your closest friends and immediate family.

Talk about mental health with them. You never know, you may unknowingly help a friend in need.

We know how hard it can be to take criticism, so be very clear about it if you are planning on having a heart-to-heart with anyone close to you. If they care about you, they'll understand.

Stay away from the toxic people in your life who say or make you feel that you are not putting in enough effort to be happy. They may include your co-workers, neighbors, some of your friends, and even some of your family members.

You Don’t Owe the World an Explanation

When you are depressed, you shouldn’t have to explain the why’s and how’s of depression to people.

To date, it is a leading cause of disability around the world. There are enough credible sources for them to find out about the different types of depressive disorders that plague over 264 million people across the globe!

Honestly, it’s ridiculous. You have a disorder. You have the right to privacy, in case you don’t want to share your diagnosis and feelings with someone. It’s absolutely necessary to set boundaries with someone who’s not close to you.

In an ideal world, depression wouldn't be any different from high blood pressure, polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS), or diabetes. Sadly, we don't live in an ideal world. So, we have to deal with the nosy parkers at school or office and even in the neighborhood.

How to Respond To “Are You OK?”

When an acquaintance asks you, "are you OK?" You aren't obliged to open up about your struggles.

It's hard to put on a smile and say, "I'm doing great. How about you?" on the less shiny days. However, you also need to understand that in most cases, "how are you doing?" or "are you alright?" is just an automatic response like "bless you" after a sneeze.

If your best friend, significant other, parents, or therapist asks you, "are you alright?" that's the time to open up. It can be laborious to find words for how you are feeling.

So you can take an alternate approach. Take your time, paint, or sketch whatever comes to mind. Write poetry or prose. Your creations can precisely represent how you are feeling.

You can make a list of things that are bothering you most these days, thoughts that keep circling in your head, anxieties that keep you up at night, or incidents that have pushed you to the darker corners of your mind.

You’re Not OK, and That’s OK

Depression is not just a phase. It is not a stigma or taboo.

It is your mental health calling for some TLC. It’s your mind’s way of asking for self-care.

Yes, a lot of people have benefited from meditation, mindfulness, yoga, and sports. Some even stand by eating healthy and listening to inspirational music to boost mental health.

Sadly, these don’t work for everyone. If you have been struggling with mental health issues for over a year, simply changing your lifestyle might not help.

As we have mentioned before, it is just like any other disease. And like any other disease, it requires treatment.

Depression changes people. It changes how you view the world and the people around you.

When feeling the blues, take a deep breath and say to yourself, "I'm depressed, but that too is alright."

“I Need Help”

Unless you are ready to accept that your blues are more than a passing phase, it will be difficult for you to get the right help. “I need help”- 3 simple words can make your future brighter and better.

When you have been feeling low or unlike yourself for over two months, it is vital that you see an expert. We can understand how difficult it must be to be pro-active right now.

So, you can ask a friend's help to look for an experienced and reliable psychological counselor or cognitive behavioral therapist in your area.

Sometimes, adults require the help of a psychoanalyst. You may need psychoanalysis too if your depression and anxiety have been chronic (long-term) and recurring.

It is possible to beat depression, no matter how dark and gloomy life seems right now.

Tell me this, can you spot a healthy relationship? Of course not. The two people you know are in a relationship might be happy just on the outside. Good relationships don’t happen overnight. They take commitment, fidelity, compromise, forgiveness and most of all — effort. The easy part is falling in love, textbook style. The challenge for couples is how to rekindle the sparks of romance from time to time and cultivate the mature, forgiving, trusting love that is the hallmark of a lasting and healthy relationship.

We must all remember the tale of Cinderella who found her Prince Charming, fell in love, then got married and lived happily ever after! Well, no one ever told us what happens after they live happily ever after. Nobody talks about the work that it takes to maintain the love, the romance and the newness, once things start to wear off. Nobody knows what really goes on between a couple, but decades of scientific researches into love, sex and relationships have made us aware of a few checkpoints to know when a couple is on solid ground or headed for high troubled waters. Sue Johnson, a clinical psychologist in Ottawa says that “the secret to loving relationships and to keeping them strong and vibrant over the years, to falling in love, again and again, is emotional responsiveness.”

Why is it important for relationships to be healthy?

Relationships are, not surprisingly, vital for health, and there are lots of studies on the biological processes that account for the link between a healthy relationship and your overall well-being. Unless you’re a wrecked ship on a deserted island, you ought to enjoy a handful of close relationships. From spouses to friends, to children, parents, siblings and your significant others, a healthy relationship can help build up your self-esteem, improve your mental and emotional health and help you live a fuller life. It also has an enormous impact on your physical health and human conduct.

This article will tell you 10 pragmatic signs of a healthy relationship and teeny weeny things you could do to keep that speck of love alive. So, keep reading.

1. Being on the same page- The foremost thing that makes a relationship bloom is similar ideologies and ways of life that do not clash. Here you have to make sure that you are not only reading the same book but are on the same page! Being at par in terms of aspirations and basic values will help decide the things you both know you want out of life, your common goals and are firmly committed to achieving these together.
2. You trust each other- Trust is the core of any relationship. Without it, the relationship will be shaky and will eventually fall apart. Trust means you can rely on your partner, can confide in them at all times and feel safe with them. Engage in open conversations with your partner, discuss everything- the good, bad and the ugly, listen actively, admit your mistakes and try to efficiently resolve the issues. Having trust in a relationship is reassuring, it helps you heal the hurt, be vulnerable and overcome varied obstacles together.
3. You didn’t lose yourself- Unlike friendships, couplehood holds a much greater chance of “I” becoming “We”. Seeing each other daily while in a relationship, living together and the courtship turns you into a unit. Compromise ensues, and sooner or later you realize that you now never make a decision without taking your significant other into account. Now, hold onto that thought, if you want to love others the right way, you have to love yourself first. Don’t lose yourself just because you found someone else, embrace, value and indulge.
4. It’s not suffocating- Just because you’re in love, doesn’t mean you have to spend every single moment together. Relationships should make you feel exhilarated and not trapped.  Taking time to pursue your own interests, pacts and friendships keeps your relationship fresh and gives you both the opportunity to grow as an individual while you’re growing together as a couple.
5. You let things go- Relationship requires you to put in efforts which can at times lead to mistakes. It is human nature to make mistakes. Your partner is going to annoy you. You will annoy him or her, too. You will say or do the thing you don’t mean to. You will be inconsiderate at a few stages. The important thing is how you two deal with all this. So they forgot to pick up groceries on their way back home from work? Tell them you’re disappointed, of course then just let it go.
6. Living in the reality- Knowing what is now is more significant than what ought to be. Healthy relationships are based in reality. True chances are - your relationship won’t get better, all of a sudden if you win a lottery, have a baby, or move into the house of your dreams. Don’t base your courtship on the hope that it will change to be better someday. Accept that neither of you is perfect, realize the value of each other for who you are right now and not what you might become.
7. You are truly happy- Healthy relationships are full of fun and laughter. This doesn’t mean you’re giddy every hour of the day or that your partner doesn’t drive you crazy and make you mad, but it does mean that your life together is mostly happy in the simplest ways. It could mean the smallest gestures like making dinner, doing activities together, laughing at the same things, finishing each other’s’ sentences, giving space and making the relationship not seem like a tedious task.
8. Speaking your mind- Your mind is your most treasured characteristic. When you share your thoughts, you are sharing this aspect of yourself with someone, you are revealing the most unique part of yourself which can make you feel vulnerable. There is a feeling of closeness you get when you know someone, so sharing your thoughts gives you the opportunity to grow closer with someone. This is the best part of speaking your mind out to your partner, it cuts right to the core of who you are as a person and makes you want to believe your boo.
9. You two are intimate- When someone says the word "intimacy," what's the first thing that pops into your head? Sex, right? Sex is an integral part of any relationships, but it’s not the only part, intimacy has a lot more to it. Intimacy is less about physical satisfaction and more about bonding, friendship, closeness and familiarity. A healthy relationship makes you feel connected both in and out of bed.
10. You fight- I know this sounds absurd but bear with me here, disagreements are normal, so if you aren’t fighting, chances are you’re holding it all back. But when people in a healthy relationships fight, they fight productively to resolve the issues, avoid nasty arguments and prolonged put-downs. It also means striving to understand your partner instead of trying to score points to prove yourself right. And when you’re wrong? Just apologize. You need a tiff once in a while to balance out the feelings of pink and spring.

If the above signs are present, the Congratulations! You’re in a thriving healthy relationship. If not, don’t worry I’ve got you covered. Below are a few ways that will help you rekindle the love and get things back on track

• Fall in love with yourself first. Make yourself a priority.
• Embrace the differences. Accept your significant other as they are.
• Don’t get fixed on something. Let it go.
• Try to communicate more and resolve issues.
• Indulge in activities that you both enjoy.
• Be a good listener.
• Shake up your sex life.
• Do not be the “Fix it all” or go about giving unsolicited advice.
• Take a break. Plan out a getaway together.
• Be realistic about the highs and lows. Come on, its life.

A shared love of food or your favourite football team will help you enjoy the tiny moments but will do very little when it comes to a long haul. Trust your own instincts and trust each other. Try creating a safe space to work and grow together. Find peace in each other and even on your own. Relationships do not come with a guarantee or a list of steps to follow to make things picture-perfect. We are all unique with our own quirks and flaws. the above-mentioned areas will help you target the issues and find chances to resolve them.

Now go and tell your partner how lucky you are to have them in your life. Go!

Reference -

The science behind happy relationships, Time

Many of us are still working from home. A few are once again getting used to going to the office 5 days a week. Either way, we are re-learning how to balance our personal life and work.

Here’s what I have learned about work and life balance from the time I began working at home –

It’s not going to be easy, accept it.

All the distractions (read – pets, children, a mother whose cooking can keep Corona at bay, and the overly enthusiastic SO) are at home.

It’s going to be difficult, but not impossible to work from home.

Those who are just beginning their daily commute to and from office again, the initial days of separation are going to take a toll on your mental wellbeing, and that’s completely understandable.

Nonetheless, no one can say for certain which is better – working remotely forever or the traditional office infrastructure that separates the home from work!

It’s a time of uncertainty and a time of change. So we need to remain mentally strong, flexible and adapting.

In short, adapting to a new work environment, whether at home or a fear-stricken workspace is going to take some time and effort. Don’t freak out. Take a deep breath when work and personal life seem too overwhelming.

Do what it takes to keep your mental agility – a round of online pool at the end of a long workday, a walk around the block with your pooch, building Lego Deathstars and Starships with your little one, or meditating for 10 hours to white noise!

It’s time for lists and listicles

It’s time to prioritize. I have found a semblance of balance in my personal and work life by categorizing everything on my to-do list into 4 sections –

1. High priority – you have to do it right now! It can include reviewing yesterday’s team progress or publishing an article.
2. Important but not urgent – these include tasks that help you achieve professional and personal goals. Filling out appraisal forms, updating your job sheet, or finishing the quiz for certification are all important tasks.
3. Very urgent but not important – team meetings (that could be emails), receiving phone calls, or addressing complaints/demands from co-workers can be urgent, but somewhat, unimportant. These aren’t important for your work life because they don’t help you achieve any goals directly.
4. It can wait – checking your personal FB and Instagram accounts sadly fall in this category. You can easily do these after you are done with work or during a much-needed break.

I'll be honest here, dear readers. Of course, this categorization is very smart and very effective –because I have borrowed it from Eisenhower, the 34th President of the US.

Plan your day according to your habits

Are you a morning person? Then keep all important and urgent work for the mornings. Anything that demands 100% of your focus and energy should find its way to the top of your priority list in the morning.

Phone calls, e-meetings, and real-life meetings not only take longer, but they can also be very distracting. Plan your meetings and calls so they don't interrupt your morning workflow.

I tend to keep my client and team meetings at the end of the day. We get to evaluate the day's progress and give a precise report to our clients.

Take a break

While working at the office you definitely took a coffee break and a lunch break, so why not do the same at home?

Take a short coffee break after you finish your first important and urgent task.

Once you finish almost half of the day’s workload, take a lunch break AWAY from your home workspace.

You are at home. Take full advantage of the fact. During the break spend time with your children and/or pets. Water your plants. Take a hot bath. All the while playing your favourite tracks in the background.

It will re-energize you more than the usual office break, and I guarantee it!

Set your work hours

Your home workspace should be free from intrusions. Well, it’s easy to say, but almost impossible when your child wants help with their Zoom class or your pup makes those cute huge eyes at you.

Nonetheless, set fixed hours for work. It can be from 10 am to 6 pm or 11 am to 8 pm.

Make sure you coordinate with your team and set these work hours. If you work with a team, there's no point in going online at 7 am, when none of your teammates is available before 10 am!

Let your clients know that you will be available at a certain time, just like those good old office days. Unless of course, you want to work till past midnight every day.

Make a long-term time-management plan

Your time is valuable and you shouldn’t spend your time working and with your clients only. Your friends and family need you, even in the times of social distancing.

Make long-term plans that include family events – anniversaries, birthdays, and holidays.

Yes. I know how difficult sticking to these plans can be at times, especially, when you have clients or a boss who wants their work done yesterday. But, creating a timeline always helps.

Create your own workspace

Get an ergonomic chair, a comfortable mouse pad, and keyboard, or a laptop that you don’t have to share.

Working from home can become a treat if you organize your work desk. Get rid of the clutter absolute Marie Kondo style. Get rid of anything and everything that does not bring you joy!

Get at least one miniature plant (succulent) for your work desk. Get organizers that can keep your sticky notes, pens, pencils, staples, and notepads in place.

Brighten up your workspace with hidden LEDs.

Make the space attractive and positive. You will see how easy it becomes to enjoy your days working from home!

Take that vacation

Working from home is already like a vacation. Right? WRONG!

It can be just as stressful as working from a designated office space if not more.

When we are at home, our parents, spouse and other family members begin expecting more. We have to take care of the household (which includes a fair share of cooking and cleaning, thanks to the social distancing that’s keeping our housekeepers away!), being emotionally and physically present at almost all times.

It's just more work than we typically do even when travelling to the office every day.

So, yes, you deserve that vacation right now more than ever.

Do nothing! Thanks to the COVID-19 situation, travelling is a far-fetched dream. Use your vacation days to watch your favourite movies, spend time with your loved ones, and doing things that really matter to you.

Oh right…taking time off from work to spend time on social media, does not count as vacation.

Whether it’s your first time working from home or you are trying to adjust to your daily commute once again, the changing socio-economic situations in the country are bound to be stressful.

Apart from taking a deep breath every morning and saying "I can do this" out loud to yourself, you should take a meagre 5-minutes to meditate on whatever is valuable in your life. Once you have your life priorities sorted out, striking that work-life balance won't be as difficult as you think it is right now.

"You're always on your phone", "Stop living a virtual life", "Why are you so distracted all the time". Okay! These lines definitely sound familiar to the ear. You yourself must've been the recipient of such rants and are no stranger to the debates defining the disadvantages of social media. We have our own conflicting feelings about social media. In just a few years social media has changed the horizons of communication, landscape of education, ways of business and even the way we live. While one lot praises the virtue of instantaneous communication and accessibility of knowledge, others defame it for the reported negative impact it has on our lives. Indeed, the use of social media is on a boom encroaching all spheres of life with just a tap.

How is social media affecting life?

With all the advancement made, it is a tool initially designed to ease up the communication process. Rise in the number of people who use platforms like Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and Snapchat, the time spent on them has increased the concerns about it's impact on a person's life and their psychological well-being. Jeffrey Hall at the University of Kansas in a research had stated that no matter what the technological advances are, there will always be a cultural belief that social media is replacing the face to face interactions and is spreading like a wildfire.

While some may be addicted to their networks, there is no denying that it is one of the best ways to stay informed. It helps in connecting people, rekindling relationships by elevating your mood and emotions. Major news outlets, and persons of interest use social media as a platform to deliver messages of value to the masses. A few issues may lead to a controversy, but apparently, social media does more good than harm in retrospect. With a hope to change your perspective on social media and decide for yourself, enumerated below are a few pointers stating how social media has changed our lives for good.

Go ahead, showcase your talents

Social media is not just great to leverage professionally but can also be used to showcase one's talents. We all have diverse requirements and our own quirks we feel proud of. It gives you a platform to showcase your talent, vocation or passion and attract the right audience to understand and support your craft. It allows you to get the feedback you need in order to improve as well as the much-needed support giving you the boost to thrive and improve.

Keeps you connected, always

Social media is a great way to maintain and form new connections. Around two third of social media users establish that staying in touch with their friends and family members is a major reason they use social media sites like Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Skype, MySpace or LinkedIn and about half of the users say they use these sites to reconnect with their old friends. Researches carried on by University of London stated that staying connected through social media has had a positive and uplifting impact on people’s mental health during the pandemic of COVID-19.

Communication now made hassle free

Social media has changed the way of living (Alexa, please tell me what's the time or okay google play Hello by Adele), way of work and job (That's telecommuting for us) and, most importantly, the way of communication (Hey! Let me Skype you). Networking websites enable you to communicate faster and at ease. They help you reach out to those who are asking for help and you are free to share your thoughts and opinions in discussions in just a matter of a few seconds. Isn't it so perfect. Being able to talk to somebody sitting miles away from the comfort of your own home.

You'll never be lonely

All the one's diagnosed with depression have been in the holds of extreme loneliness, anxiety and the feeling of uncertainty. Social media can help you to keep in touch with your families and friends, as well as meet new people with whom you can share common interests to make yourself feel whole. Social media is a boon for all, especially introverts. The slight sense of anonymity allows you to make friends and form deeper connections without being too vulnerable and socially awkward.

It's a tool for social change

People of all ages, be it the elderly or the younger population are realizing the power of social media for promoting change or starting a revolution. Numerous campaigns have been launched by the youth to sensitise governments and for businesses to become fair, such as exposing corruption, improving educational facilities, and fighting against gender stereotypes. All of this is done by starting initiating a movement online on various social platforms, which with all the force reaches the concerned authorities.

Accelerates your personal growth

Social media can be a  loud place with a lot of opinions and disagreements. But when you choose to sort out the unnecessary, you can get your hands on some hidden treasures. These online treasures can help you build worthwhile connections, feed you inspiration, elevate your mood, help you get a hold on your emotions and help you exude confidence both online and offline. One of the many ways to develop your character is to look for a like-minded community that can boost your personal development. You can be a part of social interactive groups, monthly reading groups, news groups, hobby sessions which help you connect with the individuals who share your interests.

Helps you in the time of crisis

Many people have turned to social media friends and acquaintances for support during unsettling times. There is a sense of relief that follows when you share your thoughts while undergoing a personal crisis and see that there are people like you who are in a similar fix and are trying to respond to their concerns. The support you get through friends on social networks can prevent you from taking drastic actions at the lowest point of your lives.

Get inspired or be an inspiration yourself

Now tell me this, what happens when you see someone maybe a friend or even a celebrity posting their own pictures while pursuing their fitness goals? Most likely, you’ll be inspired to make healthy alterations to your own life as well. Similarly, by posting about your experiences on the journey to self-discovery and good health, you can be a source of inspiration to others who are in a similar situation, looking for motivation.

Spreads positivity

I can certainly not emphasize this more, the emotions, whether positive or negative, that we share on social platforms are contagious. Be someone's sunshine when their skies are grey! Post content that promotes positivity and has a powerful effect on your mood as well as on the one who's seeing it. You can make a conscious choice to spread positivity all the time which can help you get hold of your emotions. Follow pages and use apps that are designed for the same purpose, read quotes online and try to track how you feel. Chiku - Journal /Diary & Mood Tracker can be of great use here, it acts as your personal mood tracker and even comes up with motivational quotes every morning!

Use it to learn

Social media is a platform that you can use to promote self-directed learning, which requires you to look for answers and be able to make decisions independently. It plays a key role in shaping and influencing how we learn and interact today.

Just have fun!

Social media, when used in moderation, can be of great fun and enjoyment to its users. Various platforms and apps allow you to keep in touch with friends, elevate your mood, and keep you up to date with what’s happening around you and in your social network, work from the comfort of your home, be a part of revolutionary movements, increase your welfare index by laughing at memes, preserve memories and what not.

These were a few of many pros of social media that remind us to be constantly mindful of how to utilize it. Just remember, moderation is the key.

Reference

Social media's growing impact on our lives

Overthinking – such an innocuous word that can lead to sleepless nights, mental and physical exhaustion, fatigued relationships, and analysis paralysis!

What do you do when you face a problem? Do you keep thinking about the problem? Or, do you look for a solution? If you do the latter, you have a problem-solving attitude, which is great. If you dwell on the problem instead, you have an overthinking problem.

You need to distinguish overthinking from self-reflection. Self-reflection is purposeful, healthy and it helps one improve and grow as a person. You could also call it a personal analysis. During self-reflection, you understand who you are, what your ideologies are, and how you tend to think.

Overthinking is when you keep thinking about situations, incidents, or problems that you cannot control. A simple example would be worrying about an asteroid passing too close to the earth. It is an incident we have no control over, but we may worry about an inevitable apocalypse that the cosmic object might bring!

In situations such as these, no good comes out of worrying. Yet, some of us cannot stop thinking. We fret, we worry and it takes a toll on your cognitive abilities, problem analysis, memory and, even, physical health.

Am I overthinking?

Here’s how I know when I am overthinking. Maybe remembering these signs will help you distinguish productive thinking from overthinking as well –

I cannot stop worrying

I am losing sleep by thinking about past incidents or embarrassing moments

I keep replaying real conversations in my head and wonder what different things I could have said

I never let myself off the hook for mistakes I have made

When I am not doing anything I tend to spend time thinking about the hidden meaning of things people may have said

I worry too much about the past and the future

I miss out on the present because I’m too busy thinking about past events

How do I stop myself from overthinking?

Now comes the most important question "How do I stop overthinking?" More than once I have had to forcefully calm my thoughts and silence the worries so that I could fall asleep at night. Over the last couple of weeks, with the lockdowns and quarantines, the thoughts have assumed new power thanks to all the updates from across the world.

What I have learned from the experiences is that if you let your thoughts wander, your brain will go into a state of overdrive in a matter of seconds and that is somehow superbly easy especially when you are trying to catch a good night's sleep before another workday.

So here’s what I do before hitting the sack –

Have a separate thinking time

It might sound weird because as long as we are awake and not doing anything that requires our complete attention we think. Right? Well, I have found out that if you allow yourself some good and mindless thinking time may be an hour to half an hour before bed, those pesky annoying thoughts won't bother you right before you are dozing off.

Finish work and allow your mind to wander. Stop all serious and thought-provoking work at least an hour and a half before bedtime. It will allow your brain to calm down by the time you crawl into bed. You may not need 90-minutes. You may initially require 120-minutes, either way, you will find falling asleep much easier.

Begin listing your worries and thoughts

I have found that writing the worries and thoughts down seems to relieve my mind. Giving them a physical form seems to take my mind off the “what ifs…” that typically used to keep me up at night.

Once you write your problems down you can work on them in a constructive manner. Even if they are things you cannot control, you can collect more data on them that might alleviate your worries to some extent. If you are worried about privacy, you can use a journaling app with security codes as I do.

Interestingly, when you put your ideas down in writing, your mind automatically begins to calm down since it doesn’t have the burden to actively remember them or think about them over and over again.

Revisit your past

If the past is haunting you, there may be too many ghosts in your closet and they are just waiting to come out! Instead of fighting them just let the thoughts flow. Sit down with old journals, old albums, and playlists. Take in the vibe. We have the tendency to remember the bad stuff more prominently than the good incidents.

There is a good chance that while revisiting your past, you will open the doors to old friends, family members, and positive incidents that will rest your worries. No one can change the past. Thankfully most of our mistakes lie in the past, so we make fewer gaffes in the present and the future.

Once you begin to realize that on your own, your whirlwind of memories from the past will come to a rest. You will stop overthinking about the past.

Enjoy the present

There's nothing more rewarding than being able to live in the moment. Yes. Initially, it will be very challenging for you to live in the present. It's not like flipping a switch! You can begin by journaling in the morning before your day starts. List the things you are grateful for and whatever you are looking forward to.

You can engage in daily rituals like 20-minutes of easy yoga and 5-minutes of mindfulness meditation to engage your senses. Always think about priming your mind to your 5 senses right at the beginning of your day. There is nothing more enjoyable than living in the moment.

Explore your tendency to overthink

Some of us are chronic overthinkers and we have been doing it for decades. It has become a part of us and we don't even realize when we are doing it. However, no one else should tell you if you are overthinking unless they are a psychological counselor or behavior analyst.

It is very easy for a friend, family member, or significant other to mistake self-reflection or analysis for overthinking. So, you need to begin exploring the reasons for your overthinking. Try to find answers to questions like "why do I overthink?", "How can I pause overthinking?" "how is overthinking harming my life and relations?” and “is overthinking holding me back?”.

Finding answers to these critical questions, whether alone or with the help of a cognitive-behavioral therapist, will help your mind get the rest it deserves. Once you find these answers, your life will change for the better!

Overthinking is not a cardinal sin, but it is a habit we need to break. Overthinking has cost us our present, precious sleep and, sometimes, taken a toll on our health. Before it starts interfering with the quality of our lives we need to ensure that we have complete control over our minds and thoughts.

Following the 5 easy steps listed above has helped me tremendously in preserving my mental peace and getting a good night's sleep in recent weeks. Try these techniques and let us know if they work for you as well.

You come home, tired from work and all you want to do is take a nice hot shower and get in bed.

The door unlocks and you feel your muscles tense up. Instead of feeling the sweet relief you used to feel even a couple of months ago, dread creeps in from a dark place and anxiety teases your thoughts.

“What mood is s/he in? Will s/he begin shouting right now? Have I already done something silly? Maybe I forgot reply to his/her last message. Maybe I am being quiet for too long. Should I speak now? Will it annoy him/her? Oh no s/he looks really pissed…it’s all my fault”

Sadly, it’s not the monologue from a short filmed that bombed. It is what every man/woman in a toxic relationship goes through in their own way. What begins as self-doubt, denial, and anxiety, turns into self-blame, lack of confidence and fear. Toxic relationships are not myths concocted by writers for the occasional Cosmo. They are real. They are everywhere. And YOU might be in one!

It’s time to re-evaluate.

What defines a toxic relationship?

Dr Lillian Glass defines a toxic relationship as one that has no mutual support. In a toxic relationship one person looks to undermine the other during conflicts. There’s competition and disrespect. A toxic relationship lacks togetherness.

Everyone has had a fight with their best friends. Almost everyone has seen their parents or grandparents fight. It’s clear that every relationship has its ups and downs, so judging it when it’s going through a rough patch would be unfair.

However, if you are struggling to remember the last happy moment you guys spent together. Or, if you are feeling consistently drained, questioned, belittled, ridiculed and criticized, then you may be in a toxic relationship.

According to Dr Kristen Fuller, toxic relationships are mentally, psychologically and even physically damaging. Contrary to popular belief, these relationships don’t have to be romantic. They can be familial, friendly or/and professional relationships as well.

Physical damage may not last a lifetime for the lucky ones, but psychological damage can be difficult to overcome. Thousands of men and women across the world struggle with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) after coming out of abusive relationships.

When is it time to leave?

If you find yourself in a toxic relationship, you are the best person to decide when it’s time to leave.

We can only tell you some signs that define a classic toxic relationship. In case you see these signs in your friendly, familial, professional or/and romantic relationship, it may be time to reconsider it.

1. You are walking on eggshells

According to Andrea Bonior, PhD, the first sign of a toxic relationship is that you are always on the edge. You are afraid of making one mistake that will set the other person off.

Sometimes, it can be as simple, yet as sad as not being able to share your thoughts, opinions or ideas because you are afraid of how your partner will react. While it doesn’t always entail physical violence, it may involve emotional abuse, unprovoked anger, slew of insults and verbal threats.

2. You feel physically ill around your partner

It is indeed sad that the presence of the person you once loved and respected makes you feel nauseous, or uneasy, but repeated emotional trauma from him/her can have this effect on your body.

According to Sofia Milan, relationship expert, new signs like ulcers, vomiting, heartburn, indigestion, passing out, chest pain, hives (skin flaring up), or hair falling out are all possible due to the excessive emotional trauma caused by some abusive relationships. It might sound bizarre but physical symptoms are not uncommon effects of toxic relationships.

3. You feel the need to hide/lie

You may feel that the truth will make things worse. The truth might infuriate the person no matter how benign it is. So you hide small matters and then you worry about him/her finding out.

Lying out of fear is not uncommon either. You may be too tired of all the yelling, drama and emotional blackmailing. The next time you are about to hide a detail or cook up a lie, ask yourself if it’s healthy for your mental wellbeing. If necessary, reach out to a friend or family member you trust for support.

4. There’s a lot of stonewalling

Either you or your partner refuse to talk about the serious matters in life – not ordering Pad Thai or watching Stranger Things on Netflix. We are talking about the serious stuff – renting an apartment together, going on vacations together, having a baby or not having one, adopting a pet.

Well, if you haven’t been truly communicating, then what’s even the point of having a relationship? A relationship should provide you with the safe space where you can unwind, be yourself, make fun of each other’s favourite bands and yet find the time to plan a future together.

5. You are keeping score

Whether it’s a fight or someone making a booboo, you are always trying to one-up the other. A relationship isn’t a competition. If you find your significant other always trying to bring up past mistakes to justify their sucky behaviour, then you are in the wrong kind of relationship my friend!

Both of you need learn from past mistakes (no matter how big they are) and try to move forward towards a better future. Ginning up bitterness is definitely not the way to go about it.

6. You did not sign up for this

When a romantic relationship just begins, the two people involved are too engrossed in exploring each other. Love trumps everything else, including the issues that may surface in the future.

We often forget that life isn’t a Disney movie and we are in a relationship with a real person. And what does every human have? Flaws! Well, if you feel like you didn’t sign up for this, first, consider why you are feeling this way.

It may be physical incompatibility, or differences in long-term plans, or simply different life values. If that’s the case, you may think about breaking it off mutually.

However, is it because s/he is suffocating you? Does s/he want all your time? Are you having to give up personal time, time with friends, family, and pets because of him/her? Is he forcing you to change your hobbies and lifestyle? If that’s the case, it might be time to get out!

Fighting in any relationship is healthy! Arguing about thoughts, ideas and ideologies help in exchange on information and opinions. Through arguments we learn to acquire new perspectives, reconsider our ideas and grow as human beings.

Every relationship should have the safe space where two people get to argue, but still love each other and care for each other despite the differences in opinions. If you and your SO are constantly fighting and that has been causing you mental and physical distress for weeks or months, you should reconsider being in that relationship.

If you are scared that your SO or friend might hurt you physically, or emotionally abuse you further for your effort to break up, you should reach out to a professional relationship expert, or psychological counsellor, who can give you the emotional support you need.

Can a friend also counsel a person during distressing times? What if the friend is a certified therapist? Does that make it okay for the friend to assist the person during a depressive episode?

Well, let's first reiterate what experts have said for decades – a psychological counsellor or therapist isn't the client's friend. Therapists typically stay away from counselling their family and friends. So, even if you see a good friend going through a psychological crisis, you should not counsel them as a professional would.

You can do two things instead –

1. Be there for them as a friend.
2. Encourage them to go see a professional cognitive behavioural therapist or psychological counsellor for addressing the roots of their crisis.

Now, we come to the main questions, “how to be there for a friend who is depressed” and “what to say to a friend who is depressed”.

“I’m always here if you want to talk”

When someone is depressed it is a bad idea to force them to talk. It might seem like they are being unnaturally quiet, irritable, slow and lethargic. However, refrain from commenting on that. You can mention that you have noticed that they are going through a particularly hard time.

Don’t take it for granted that your friend knows that you are there for them. Make the small effort of mentioning that to them.

Gently remind them that you are there when they are ready to talk about it. Asking “are you ok” rarely helps, because people battling depression typically respond with “I’m fine” to avoid talking more. Instead, tell them it’s completely okay to feel this way.

“I am here to listen, not to judge”

When you are fully committed to helping a friend battling depression, you can be sure that your friend might try to be hurtful, aloof and/or offensive at first. Depression causes mental and physical fatigue. Even getting out of bed and brushing one's teeth can seem impossible for someone going through a depressive episode.

Pick up their favourite flavour of ice cream, order dinner for the both of you or bake a cake if they have a sweet-tooth. Don’t forget to consider the possibility that your friend might initially try to brush off your efforts. It happens due to the guilt that typically accompanies the fatigue.

It's alright to just sit there in their room, listen to them if they are in the mood to rant. Remember not to share your opinions unless your friend asks for them. Being a good and helpful friend sometimes means just picking up the phone, leaving them meaningful texts, driving over to their place, meeting over Messenger or WhatsApp video calls!

“I haven’t been through what you are going through, but you don’t have to do this alone”

It might sound strange, even if you have suffered depressive episodes. Everyone has their own thought process and depressive episodes for two people can be vastly different. Instead of telling them that you know how they feel, you can simply tell them that they don’t have to fight alone.

Don’t begin sharing stories of people who have recovered from depression, or people who have it worse than your friend! You might think that it will motivate the depressed person or help them relate, but that rarely helps

Depression can change how people think! It makes people want to isolate. It’s possible, your friend feels like an island, unreachable and desolate. Well, show them that you are there every step of their way.

It is always nice to have a friend during difficult times. Sometimes, depression is not triggered by external incidents. Your friend might not be able to tell you what precipitated their depressive episode, they might not be able to tell you exactly how they feel or they may end up hurting you.

It’s important to remember that your friend is in mental anguish. You will find plenty of time later on, when they are feeling alright, to vent your grievances, but right now, it’s important to focus on them!

We as social beings have the need to interact with someone, be able to share our thoughts and all the things that take us through. But as we mature and cross a certain age, the inhibitions abstain us from being able to express ourselves completely. The feeling of uneasiness to let someone know our deepest secrets, our feelings and the shortcomings could leave us being vulnerable. There is an easy breezy fix to this problem. Keep a diary.

Now, I know this might sound a little old school to some as whenever we think about a diary, our mind associates it with a picture of a teenager penning down the words ‘Dear Diary’ to rant about all the things that took place at school. For adults, it is attached to a notion of young people trying to figure out their lives and deal with the raging middle school hormones. Well, it is certainly helpful for these purposes, but keeping a diary is not exclusive for teens, it’s for all those who can express themselves by writing. Diary entry is a form of self-expression that can enlighten and empower people by helping them understand their complex feeling and find peace with it.

Why a diary?

Journaling is an exercise that puts us in touch with our emotions and allows us to express ourselves freely. You can tell the pages of your diary what you would never say to anyone else. It's liberating in its own way. Get it all off your chest, rant about the happening of the day, describe the things you are thankful for, wonder about weird stuff, make that tiny little dirty joke, give way to your feelings, complain, express your concerns, mention your likes and dislikes, things that you wish were certain, write about your victories and the triumphs too and even about the deeds of the world. Adriel Boals, an author and a postdoctoral fellow at Duke University suggests that at least for the fairly minor life problems, something as simple as writing about the problem for 20 minutes can yield important effects not only in terms of physical health and mental health, the anxiety triggers, the emotional imbalance but also in terms of cognitive abilities.

Keeping in mind what the experts have to say about journaling, why not give it a shot? There are numerous benefits of keeping a diary, here are a few, that will make you want to keep a personal diary for yourself.

1. A diary is your confidant- Writing a diary gets you drawn to your feelings, it is the only time when you are under no pressure and fear no one. You do not have to pay heed to any criticism or judgment on the thoughts you are expressing. So, in a way, a diary is a best friend to whom you can pour your heart out and who will always be there, whenever you want to share your smiles and sorrows. You can keep a traditional diary or have a diary app like Chiku which can also be your personal mood tracker.
2. Journaling inspires creativity- Compiling a journal is a great way to unwind your creativity. We all have that undiscovered creative potential and your diary is the best place to start exploring the inner creativity. It is a way to motivate you, boost self-confidence and unlock your creative side. Start by making an appealing and personalized diary cover. Let your imagination race wild, write whatever comes to your mind. Record your journey.
3. Reduces stress-  A study published in the year 2011 Psychological Science journal stated that writing down your thoughts helps you overcome the negative blockages, it frees you from anxieties, pain and frustration. Keeping a diary will help you release and reduce the stress that has been accumulated overtime. The diary can also be used as a mood tracker bullet journal to help indicate the sentiment level and boost your mood.
4. Enhance your writing skills- If you always wanted to practice to improve your writing, the best thing you can do is write. You do not have to be perfect at it or have the best topic with a delightful theme, you just have to start putting your ideas on the paper. The more you write, the better it will be for you to expand the horizons of your writing ability. It is a way to practice expressive writing without being under pressure.
5. Helps you stay organized- You can use your handy dandy dear diary to plan your day, record daily events, random musing, the feelings you have or write down your views you have about specific events. Your diary will help you organize the scattered thoughts, overcome the reluctance and will keep you in a happy state of mind. You can also keep a multitude of diaries for specific topics like the daily planner, the travel diary, mood tracker, dream journal or one to randomly write away.
6. Save the memories- The diaries or journals you keep will be like your personal memory banks, the reminders of the events in your life. It is a way to preserve those beautiful memories you have against the ravages of time, to get an essence of how clearly you remember the small but important things that hold importance to you. Your diary will be a time capsule for you to rekindle the joys of the moments passing by. It will be a recollection of the past to guide you through the future by correcting the errors of yesterday.
7. Helps you introspect- Life is a school of self-awareness, the experiences are to entertain and the hurdles to instruct. Use a diary to record your thoughts and aspirations daily. At the end of each day review and analyze the progress. Discover yourself, find out what you are and how you imagine yourself to be as self-examination is a noble art of progress. True introspection is when you do not engage in dwelling over the negatives. Your diary will tell you track your progress which will encourage you to make it worthwhile.
8. Help solve problems- One of the best ways to set a goal is to write it down on paper along with the hopes, plans and ideas you have regarding it. Noting down your problems enables you to reflect on them, can inspire you to ponder and reach a solution. When you pen down your concerns, it allows you to examine them in a way which was not possible when thinking about them.

There are no rules when it comes to keeping a diary, it is important to know what works best for you. Explore the options to give way to your thoughts. Keeping a diary has numerous benefits that you will discover yourself. So when are you planning to start?

References

• A new reason for keeping a diary
• Journal to reduce stress

Who would have thought that something so tiny and invisible to the human eye, will stop people all over the world? The pandemic has placed the entire world at a standstill and has changed our spheres of living, making ways of life viable.

We have learned to survive with the bare minimal and are taking social distancing seriously. Apparently, face masks are a raging trend in 2020. We have survived days without going on shopping sprees and the ones where home cooked meals replaced the fancy restaurant dinners. The pollution went down, nature flourished and people realized the importance of a sustainable life

This is like living in an uncertain period today, which a few years from now will be studied as history! These times are so distinctive that they hold due importance for the ages to come, so why not record it!

Instead of merely living through the history, take down a few snippets, narrating your experiences of how you rebelled, accepted and survived the hard times for the historians to look back at them and tell the tales of life during the pandemic of 2020.

WHY SHOULD YOU BE INSPIRED TO RECORD THE PANDEMIC?

Be it the diary of Anne Frank, the Hammurabi code or the numerous memoirs, a huge part of history we have today was possible because of such first-hand accounts and descriptions.

Here are a few pointers on why you should be engaged in recording the instances of this pandemic.

Historical importance

The records made right now are of integral importance for the generations to come. It will give an insight of the lives of people during a pandemic, the ways to combat it and educate the future generations.

Growth tracker

It can act as a personal record for one and contribute in tracking the growth. The records hence made can be used as daily trackers of one’s moods, emotions, feelings and concerns.

A fun activity

The entire process can be fun, now for the one doing it and later for the ones who obtain it.

Keeps you busy

This can help you inculcate a new habit, keep you occupied and even lower down the levels of anxiety by keeping the negative thoughts at bay. Altogether, it gives you a new perspective about your life.

RECORD YOUR JOURNEY

Now that I have convinced you enough, let me tell you a few ways through which you can record your experiences and the journey through the pandemic of 2020.

Keep a personal diary

It is one of the oldest and most important forms of personal narratives. Take a few moments and make notes of what is happening around you and how you feel about it. Journaling helps you organize your thoughts in a way that works for you by addressing your concerns and fears. Tracking your mood and emotions can help you recognize triggers and find ways to control them.

As you write around what you are concerned about, think critically and try to argue with yourself. Write about anything happening right now that calls into question whether or not your worry is truly a concern. You can do it in a traditional way by keeping a hard bound diary or use an app like Chiku for the same.

Capture photographs and make videos

It is said that a picture is worth a thousand words. An image can convey information more quickly than a primary document written in an unfamiliar or a foreign language which would need to be deciphered. This is a way by which you can capture the exact moment, preserve it and look back on for years or even decades to come. The photos or videos you make during this period will tell the stories of how you pulled through these trying times.

Bring out your inner Shakespeare

Writing is a way of reminiscing instances and memories. Numerous studies have demonstrated the effectiveness of letting your emotions out through words for health, happiness, and anxiety management. Pen down what is happening right now in the form of stories, novels, poetry, haikus, essays, letters or memoirs. The act of writing ornamental literature encourages mindfulness which will help you get to the heart of thoughts or emotions of your own, which you don't quite understand.

Tickle the funny bone

Studies have shown that Comics and caricatures have been more effective than any other form of literature in increasing interest in and enjoyment of any topics. Making comic strips can be a fun and enjoyable activity and can also be a great way to remind yourself of positive mental health representations.

Memes on the other side are ablaze amongst the youth all over the world. It can be a great way for you to reach out to millions, raise awareness about the instances while making the situation lighter and fun. These can be amusing for you while making them and as an add on can bring a smile to the face of a person who is reading them.

Scribble it out

Unleash your inner artist by painting, scribbling or doodling your way through the pandemic. With plenty of time and nowhere to go, you can indulge into making illustrations or doodles describing your day to day life in a simple, practical, funny and sketchy way.

Art and craft activities are meditative, quiet and calming which can help soothe symptoms of anxiety, nervousness and irritability. It encourages self-expressions, reduces trauma and shallows the triggers. Chiku – Journal, Diary and Mood Tracker gives you an option to doodle and express your emotions in a breezy manner.

Use social media

Social media is a powerful tool that can be used as a way to narrate life experiences, stories or meaningful instances in times of crisis. Choose any topic related to the pandemic which is affecting your life and create a blog or an article around it. You can use various formats to write your views like posts, editorials, reviews or even compile a how-to guide for something you could teach someone during the pandemic. This can keep your mind off the uncertainties and gives you a thing to look up to everyday.

Voice recordings

This is a time when you are required to restrict your interpersonal interactions and stay isolated. Grab a voice recorder or even use your phone as one to record your stories, the ideas you get or the thoughts that boggle you. It is a great way for those who find writing tedious to express their narratives. It can be a monologue, a random snippet of your day, a story narration, podcast or even a recording of when you were on a call with your friend.

Time capsules

A time capsule is something which is buried to be discovered in the future. It represents that the moments in life hold greater importance than the objects we have. With the help of a time capsule you can preserve a specific time in life. Make something to help you remember the significance of this time. Gather the things, add a tiny note, put them in a box and bury them in the ground. Years from now, it will be an amazing discovery to share with all.

Capture the emotions and memories associated with the Coronavirus pandemic and this contrasting time of social distancing. Be creative and imaginative, compile a lasting memory of these times. This duration will definitely be the kind of memory which is here to stay, it is just a matter of trying to view it in a different manner.

So, how are you going to tell your grandkids about the pandemic of 2020?

Motivation is a much-debated topic especially during times when people are being forced to work from home and sometimes in less-than-ideal conditions.

So, what really is motivation? Is it the drive to get the best employee badge this quarter, get a 90% in the upcoming exams, or finish household chores in the next hour? Well, you would need the motivation to achieve every one of those goals. So whether you are a student, an employee or a homemaker, you will need your daily dose of motivation to get through your day productively.

How would life be without motivation?

Well, if Steve Jobs wasn’t motivated enough, we wouldn’t have a line of Apple products. If Coco Chanel woke up one day and thought of just lying in bed because the world around her was too chaotic, we wouldn’t have signature fragrances. If Charles Darwin didn’t feel motivated enough to step on HMS Beagle, well, we wouldn’t even know about hundreds of exotic species and the theories of evolution and natural selection!

Think about it. If none of these people ever felt motivated enough, the world would be a very different place.

Why do you need motivation in life?

It can increase effort and productivity

Motivation is the bridge that connects your daily goals to the effort you need to put in to achieve them. The lack of motivation results in lethargy. For example, you have set a goal of finishing 10 sums in 1 hour. With motivation, you can do 10 sums and even squeeze in two more theorems in the same hour.

It can give you a new perspective

Lethargy is just the stepping stone to melancholia and then depression. If you have already been feeling low for weeks, you may need to talk to an expert about your feelings and lack of motivation.

While you do, you should try to change your perspective a little. Sometimes, life seems full of difficulties. It is only you who can find a window of opportunities in the set of challenges you are facing right now!

It can build your habits

Yes, motivation is habit-forming. For example, doing five sit-ups every time you leave bed to kickstart your day. Or, taking 5-minutes off from work every late afternoon to go watch the sun set.

These are small actions that will make you feel alive and grateful for all you have. These small habits can help you double-check your current status and revisit your goal and purpose.

It makes your journey fun

What's work without fun? You should be enjoying the work you do. Without motivation, you may feel a lack of zeal and zest that drives quality work.

Taking a little time to meditate before you begin working can help you get your feelings and emotions together. It will help you reach a state of mindfulness where you can feel the motivation and the zeal to work happily.

It can help you realize your dreams

Motivation is not just important to go through everyday motions. You ultimately need it to realize your big dream.

It can be a holiday in the Maldives or buying a sports bike or simply making the final EMI payment for your apartment. Well, you need the motivation to realize these dreams no matter how basic or outlandish they sound!

How can you motivate yourself daily?

Many believe that motivation is an internal force, and they aren’t wrong. However, when you aren’t feeling particularly motivated or productive, you might want an external impetus.

First, it's alright to not feel equally motivated every day. Not all days are the same. Some people find rainy days to be too gloomy and sad to feel motivated. Some feel drained of all the motivation on particularly hot sunny days. Our aim should be to accept that fact and move forward with a few simple motivation building exercises that will work for you each and every day!

Move your body

When you are lying in bed all day, it is indeed difficult to find motivation (even with a hundred motivation boosting apps and quotes). You need to get up. You are in control of your body, now it’s time to gain control of your mind.

Begin your day with a dose of positivity with the motivational quotes. Many apps now have the option of sending motivational quotes and messages to their users like Chiku.

Walk around at first. Next, do a few stretches. Have you ever done yoga or freehand exercises? Then this is your time to practice them again. Do a couple of jumping-jacks, spot-jumps and push-ups to drive away the lethargy that clouds your mind.

Once you feel the laziness slither away, it’s time to move to the next step!

Revisit your goals and purpose

In most cases, we tend to forget why we are doing something. A copywriter may have joined an agency for the love of words and his/her freedom to play with them, but he/she may have lost the motivation in the daily grind.

A great way to overcome the fatigue and remain motivated is by reviewing your goal, work and the reason you choose to do it.

From your current position, what do you want to achieve? Are you taking the right effort or making the necessary changes to reach your goal?

If necessary, make a list or write it down in words – revisiting your goal and purpose will give you more motivation. Add a daily set of challenges for yourself with the help of an app.

Develop a self-rewarding strategy

It can be as simple as getting yourself a scoop of Häagen-Dazs when you finish an hour of work or playing a round of video games once you finish reading one chapter.

The idea of a reward system is to create an achievable short-term goal for the hour or day, and to keep a reward that you actually desire.

The concept is quite similar to that of bodybuilders and fitness experts keeping a cheat day for themselves after they have achieved their weekly workout goals.

Make changes in your environment

You may have no idea how much difference a well-organized work desk and room can make in your life! The key is to not spend an entire day buried in the trash but to take the task 5-minutes at a time.

Get a waste paper bin for your room and every time you need to discard scraps of paper or a wrapper throw it in the bin! Always remember, if something takes 5 minutes to clean, clean it immediately – it can include coffee mug stains on the desk or your over-used keyboard.

Set up a vision board or use an app that can track your motivation levels, moods from stories and generate feeling graphs.

Start easy and enjoy yourself

Make a cup of steaming coffee, browse through the day's worklist and prioritize the work. If you are having a particularly bad day, then starting off with easier and low-resistance tasks is the way to do it!

30 chapters may make a book, but the author needs to begin with one word and proceed one-word-at-a-time to reach the end. So, no matter how insignificant or “stupid” the task seems compared to the others you have at hand, you should begin with the one that gives you the most joy and satisfaction.

Break your ulterior goals down to short-term goals that you can achieve each day and you will be on your way to success soon!

Are you motivated enough?

Now that we have spoken at length about why you need motivation and how you can foster it in your life, it’s time to find out how much motivation you actually have right now.

Your motivation level is directly related to your happiness and satisfaction.

Journaling is one of the best ways to determine how happy, blessed, satisfied, productive, sad or angry you have felt in the last week or month. Now, doing so manually is quite the task. Apps like Chiku can help explore the stats that display your overall mood, feelings, activities and the relationship between moods and activities visually.

Journaling is the key to exploring the different activities and relationships that motivate you and improve you as a person.

So what are you waiting for? It’s never too late to begin. Download Chiku and start writing, including images and sketches to know exactly what you need to drive you to success!